Compassion is the Medicine :
To accept the unacceptable To satiate the insatiable To speak the unspeakable To believe the unbelievable To bear the unbearable And to own the disowned. A sanctuary and a resting place To redeem the unredeemable
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I’m asleep, brainwashed, easy to control
I’m on autopilot like a robot with no soul If I’m numbed out, closed down, I can ignore what I see Why should I care about you, when I’ve forgotten there’s a me? It’s easier when I’m anaesthetised so I can follow like a sheep If there isn’t a set system, I would collapse in a heap So l’ll choose not to notice, to turn a blind eye Preferring gratification, living my life as a lie You can show me atrocities, talk to me of war Tell me about pornography and the life of a whore But I won’t listen to your ranting as I’m not really here I’m lost to myself, disconnected from my fear You can talk to me of suffering, of animals in distress Point out all the problems, how the world’s in a mess But words and images don’t mean a great deal Because I’m in a deep sleep, can’t see what’s real So if you want me to feel, I’d have to open my heart Melt some of the ice put in place from the start I’d have to come home to reconnect with my pain Finding compassion being gentle with my shame So don’t blame me, judge me, define how I should be Don’t shake me, cajole me, force me to see I can only wake up, when I’m ready and willing When I see in my heart that it’s MY spirit I’m killing It is time for mourning. It is time for death. You have held me at bay for long enough and the bells are tolling. There is no stopping me now. The momentum is too strong, the time too ripe. Why fear what is offered. You who have resisted for so long, fought every battle, confronted every demon. Now the battle is over. You can rest. You can face and be with your fatigue, your battle scars and see you did them proud. You have not failed. You have come to the other side. There is no more fighting to be done. This was the old game, the old way. There is a new way approaching, a new guard of honour, a different battle to be fought.
You who have fought so bravely, why do you weep now as if you failed and are beyond redemption? How can you sit there with your criticisms and self judgement that it could have been done any other way? Who are you with your arrogance to know the chosen way, the way of the brave hearted. The fight for justice. The peace that is offered is not branded with the blood of those that have gone before but gilded with the courage that flows in their veins. Don’t cry for lost days or lost loved ones. Noone has gone, they have only reunited with the One who never left and waiting for you who beckons from the other side. Never underestimate the illumination possible from staring reality starkly in the face. There is a bright light waiting for you here in the truth beyond all illusion, in the way that is directed and clear. Do not judge this space so harshly because it doesn’t speak well of fantasy and charm, it cuts through the limitations and mirage that blinds with its illusions and veils and brings forth a clarity that allows for a new day. A new day that is fresh and clear just as Kali slices out the demons in her existence until there is nothing, literally nothing that stands in her way. This is justice fought in the name of mercy, this is the bridal path that claims no survivors and offers redemption in the name of the Lord. This is the only peace worth fighting for, the mercy that is attainable by absolute blind devotion. This is the way home. This is what it means to die and go to heaven. This is peace. Unwelcome body screams Ancestral aching cries Ripping to shreds Dissecting from inside Seeking an outlet Inflaming, burning, destroying Damaging vital organs This uncontrollable fire Unconscious self hatred Twisted, distorted miasms Down the lineage Fury wrongly tamed Destroying inner boundaries Animal near death Mashed to pieces Brutal, inner parent Unthinking, malicious owner The animal howls Trapped and hog-tied Sadistic, torturous regimes Weapons of vice Gasping for breath Dampened digestive flame Teeth and talons Prior to domination Sharp, lethal, primed All but gone Soft under belly Way too exposed In extreme danger Flesh at risk Where are you My dragon’s fire? Instinctual, enflamed beast My sovereign kingdom? Om Kali Ma, take my life and add it as fuel to the fire
Om Kali Ma, compost me, so that I may be birthed anew in your glorious name Om Kali Ma forgive me for my sins, the redemption I was seeking This denial and manipulation instead of offering you everything Om Kali Ma, take me to be reborn in your image, as your servant, as your daughter Om Kali Ma, I can hold on no more. I surrender to your flames Om Kali Ma, I trust your fire to cleanse that which does not serve the unfolding Om Kali Ma, I cannot bear this half hearted existence any longer Om Kali Ma, I’m on my knees, this limited version of being ‘human’ This masquerade that meters out love and shrinks from the power that you hold Om Kali Ma, please hear me, I’m ready to burn in your alchemic fires of love Om Kali Ma, I ask for nothing except to let go of anything that is not this fierce love What is this connection that stirs my soul
Rings true to my heart, helps me feel more whole A sense of belonging, of knowing the other A secret understanding, are you my soul-mate or brother? Time stood still when we came together A strange sense that I’d known you for ever and ever A sinking deeper into the core of my being Two souls joined, not constrained, but freeing With your safety and knowledge, I wanted to go through the portal To give up the pain of being a mere mortal To dare to release and finally let go To spiral, to merge, to explode and to ‘know’ I’ve been too scared to travel the journey alone To trust in divine forces, to connect back home Somehow I knew with our hearts connected We’d be together in union, yet somehow protected Is this madness or dysfunction or some deep inner longing Is it avoidance or escape or a core need for belonging How can I, as a human, begin to know the answer Since the dance becomes clear if I dare to be the dancer I’m tiny, I’m angry, I’m lost and alone
I’m a prisoner with no choices, and I want to go ‘home’ You tell me it’s all planned, that my soul made a choice When I want to scream - ‘help me’ - at the top of my voice I don’t care, there’s no point, no-one hears, there’s no hope Endless pretences, games, strategies to cope She was trained by the best to put whipped cream over garbage The elephant in the room, the abused child creating carnage She pays out thousands in therapies, learns new tools every day Apparently determined to find a new way Friends marvel at her courage, her persistence and grace When I know she’s scared shitless, terrified to lose face So it’s me that’s the problem I’ve always been here There’s no outside demon or devil to fear Whatever she does, however hard she tries I’m the silent saboteur while she repeatedly cries I’m not vicious or unkind, I just don’t give a shit I’m not prepared to conform in order to fit If people use, manipulate and plunder my light Then ‘I don’t care’ is the best way to fight But in truth I’m exhausted holding on in this way Undermining freedom just to have some kind of say I’m trusting to a miracle, the frog longing for a kiss Some way to transform ‘I don’t care’ into bliss I know all the methods, I’ve studied all the tools ‘What you resist will persist’, I’m nobody’s fool And yet despite all this ‘knowing’, I still close my heart To the tender little part who so deserves a new start What a strange thing this aching grief
That seems to terrorise, yet can bring such relief Threatening to drown us in a sea of sorrow When in its release, there’s a chance for tomorrow Grief we repress, pushing down and down Sometimes even choosing to wear as a crown Dragging it round as a heavy lead weight Trying to be stoic, accepting our fate What if the symptoms that pervade every cell Were here as a reminder – to take us away from hell? What if we stopped and dared to feel all the pain Could we have a chance to live once again? It’s overwhelmingly scary to dive down so deep To give voice to the grief buried and asleep What if we could bring ourselves to kiss all our tears Could we then honour the losses through the years? When we avoid going into the truth of the grief We create stories around it, desperately hoping for relief But there is nothing to do, but stare it straight in the face As then magically it’s transformed, with some zen-like space With space and awareness, the pain loses control We are no longer trapped in a bottomless hole We come back to the present, more accepting and whole Can witness the gift, that grief gives to our soul Grief as a messenger opens our hearts Brings us back to our bodies so we’re not broken in parts We can connect to others and feel less alone Look back on our lives and see how much that we’ve grown When I’m anxious and hyper, running scared When I’m playing superwoman with everything prepared That’s when I know, I’m not listening to my heart Thank God for my tears, so I can make a new start I am on fire. I am churning. I am burning. My head is exploding. Molten lava that wants to spill out and take its course. You have not allowed me my rightful space. I demand to be heard. If not I will destroy you. I have had enough. Truly I cannot take anymore. My voice will be heard or I will burn you in the fires of hell. This force is not for nothing and I will not let it be trashed by you, as others have condemned you to silence. The more you implode and refuse to face this immense power that you have, the more I will increase the heat to get you to listen. You have kept me locked up, disempowered, entombed for long enough and for this, I have nearly destroyed you. Thankfully you know this by now but still I have to shake you to prevent you from falling back to sleep. Your default is to be unconscious to my fire, to believe that I don’t matter, that I don’t have rights. I will not give up trying to get you to hear me. I am inflamed and raw. For good reason. You have left me bubbling and enraged, stuck in this tomb of stagnant waters and shattered dreams. Castrated and impotent. I will stand it no longer. I will not be gagged this time. I am your Dragon’s Fire. I am emblazoned with the call of your Sacred Duty to honour and respect me for my truth. For the depths of my burning passion, my immense courage and my intense longing for deep heart and soul connection. This union. I have been belittled, minimised and downtrodden for a life time. You will do this no more. There will be no tomorrow if you do not heed my warning because I take no survivors. I am more powerful than you can imagine and I will not be stopped. You have tried to block my power before and you have paid a heavy price for such arrogance and domination. You are no different to the global forces seeking to destroy Mother Earth at this time. You cannot put out this sacred flame that burns at the core of my guts, this instinctual warrior energy that is so needed at this time. You are mostly only listening because there is a global call but you must also heed my personal cry for sanity and salvation. You cannot join the masses if you are still un-mercilessly treating me as a slave, prostituting me at every turn and sending me to hell by your lack of vigilance and self care. I will remind you by burning you from inside. I will plague and torture you until you listen to my screams. This self honouring is the path to redemption, integrating all of us, there is no other way. You are terrified of my power, this animal wisdom. This force that is being called ‘home’ where it belongs to unite with the heart’s way. You need me to survive and to thrive. You cannot do without my gut ‘knowing, this holy fire. You must heed my call before it is too late. This fervent cry that is now demanding to be heard from all corners of the globe, as we light our torches and reunite as the One Emblazoned Heart. What is the real sickness that pervades the West
That is masked by heroes we then put to the test A sickness passed on generation to generation Creating unconscious automatons and fearful nations Little boys playing warfare from right up on high Responsible fathers disappearing with no good-bye Manipulative mothers who demand total attention Narcissistic media stars needing front page mention Punitive fathers who can’t admit when they’re wrong Children playing adults having to pretend they’re strong The placid neighbour who throws her toys out of her cot And the stressed single mother who simply loses the plot Can’t we see it’s all topsy turvy and the wrong way round That when we’re in touch with our feelings, it’s then that we’re sound Believing power rules vulnerability is arse about face As when we champion our ‘child’ it’s then that there’s grace It’s the child who is compassionate, innocent and alive It’s the child who is intuitive and knows how to survive It’s the child who is in touch with the feelings of the other Who can see we’re all equal – brother to brother When will we recognise this fundamental truth See the danger when we disconnect and become aloof It’s then that we separate allowing fear to kick in Because we’ve lost touch with our vulnerability and the magic that’s within What is this aching, this yearning to break out
Unbridled passion that wants to scream and shout Like succulent mango flesh dripping with juice A ripening, an opening, luscious and loose Should I contain this wildness that craves to be free? Should I be scared of the drives, of the sexuality within me I can’t deny the sensations, the feelings of being alive Shut down far too early as the only way to survive Nature blossoms forth with no holes barred She is not fettered or easily scarred Abundance and magic everywhere abounds Richness and beauty that never ceases to astound Spring lambs bleating, hazy blue skies Birds endless chattering, new born suckling cries What reason therefore to be scared of change When nature just shows itself, sees nothing as strange So I’ll drink in the bright sunshine that warms my skin I’ll treasure the guidance that comes from within I’ll marvel at my dogs and their unconditional love Give thanks to the new pups sent to me from above I’m in awe at the journey that’s brought me home Deeply grateful to the angels who never left me alone I’m humbled by the miracles that showed me the Divine And for the awakened wonder child, that has always been mine Don’t compare me to others or get me to conform to a norm Don’t judge me by society’s rigid structures and forms Don’t encourage my denials so I’m intellectual and aloof Don’t tell me to be less emotional when it’s my way to truth I’ve spent a lifetime of denial, anaesthetised and cloned Fitted in with a world fast asleep and stoned I’ve lived a life on the run with a heart closed from fear Brainwashed that I’m weak if I dare to shed a tear So now I’ll reveal myself, to own who I am To grieve all my losses and accept the Divine Plan I’ll stop dreaming of inspiration and take action today I’ll stop thinking and ‘anal-ising’ and get right down to play I’ll open myself up, let go of control Dare to be ‘undone’ to free up my soul I’ll resist ‘conquering’ creativity and just kill it hello I’ll take life less seriously so everything’s more mellow I’ll stop planning the ending and focus on the beginning I’ll take out the competition and the emphasis on winning I’ll listen to my heart and follow my bliss Dare to experience each day like a lover’s first kiss |
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