The sweet and very socially acceptable selves that hitherto have been my way of coping and the way the feminine has been forced to survive, can remain as servants but they need to be underpinned by a stronger and more powerful instinctual Kali, primal voice coming from deep in the belly. They cannot get me or any of us through to the next stages, as we all personally and collectively reach the final minutes before midnight. When I talk of Kali and the fierce feminine, I’m not talking about the feminist voices that are unconscious to their inner patriarchs and full of too much disowned rage. I’m talking about the other side of the pure Virgin Mary, the Black Madonna, that used to be worshipped for millennia and for too long has been denied creating a total split and disconnection from nature, our bodies, sexuality, death and the real nature of the sacred feminine.
I’m talking about how the patriarchal ‘boy’s club’ as Andrew Harvey refers to them as, has painted over the Lady of our Pillar, and made the Black Madonna white in Chartres Cathedra. And apparently all the Black Madonna statues in the vaults of the Vatican likewise have been painted white which shows just how scared patriarchy is of this dark feminine power and the efforts they will go to suppress Her. So, there is no choice but to bring forth the disowned voice of the fierce feminine which has at its core, the instinctual, rebellious inner child who was totally denied and/or annihilated. This voice of course represents a necessary force of healing and power from the Dark Mother, not just in my own personal system but as an antidote to the ravaging and insane forces of patriarchy that have gone berserk destroying the planet at a frightening rate. It is time for the return of the sacred feminine, Mother Earth is dying. With this safety and the roar of the fierce feminine committed to embodied spirituality, the compassion and love that is the basis of the positive light selves can come to the fore. With this shadow awareness and healing, it will become possible to have the tender fierceness that is associated with Tara leadership, so that sacred activism is integrated with the heart and finally becomes a potent and balanced blend of the mystic and warrior both together, working for justice and truth. Whether we have a happy personal or planetary ending is not known or perhaps even relevant if we can live with this level of alignment and truth. The only question for me worth considering right now is ‘can I dare to claim this Kali voice or not’?
0 Comments
“I want to be my hunter dog who, like an adventurous and unthinking teenager sees no qualm about dashing off in a moment with her unexpected lover who appears on one of our walks and saying nothing of when she will return. Then after two full nights on the town, orgasmic-ally howling in the distant woods, I am to be ever grateful that she graces me with her presence and crashes on the nearest sofa without a word or a wag. She is beside herself, over-extended but not remotely apologetic about her impersonal and somewhat imposing behaviour. I would like to have her exquisite sense of absolute sovereignty and regal birth-right that does not, for one moment question her instinctual and unique place in the grand scheme of things and knows just how deeply she is loved and valued”.
Gaping black canvas Hiding dark secrets Banished barren tomb Places long forgotten Memories bleached away Waters that bleed I’ve been here Quietly, stoically here I’ve not forgotten You forgot me They told lies Packaged you up Dressed in smiles Playing their games Forgetting your flesh Far from your core Selling your soul But I exist Pressurized birthing space Beneath broken dreams And shattered promises Darkened by loss Carved by time And submerged reminders Of stolen innocence Deep, unfathomable dungeon Speaking in tongues Woven in fabric Delicate , precious strands I bore kids Birth without presence Invisible wet womb Beautiful kids both I did this Never too late Here, arrive now Listen to me Rest a while With no distraction Soften the folds Welcome the juices Command your birth-right Reclaims what’s yours Innocent erotic nature Please, please return Back to me Offer your blessed Grace and mercy Down here please Neglected, empty, alone ‘Re-member’ me now While you can My sacred space Womb heart wisdom Potent feminine cauldron Shakti ecstatic portal Yours to keep Always close by It's your choice Don’t fall asleep Please……. not again Chronic Lyme dis-ease Deadly neuro toxins Crossing the barrier Gut to brain Happens in seconds You can’t imagine….. What a nightmare This really is Like being injected Suddenly with poison There’s no help To be found Cytokine inflammatory flares Raging for hours Intense body pain Shattering the system Close to psychosis Wired and tired I’ve no respite From unbearable symptoms This never ending Hell on earth I can’t escape My tortured brain My broken body My nervous system Dis-regulated from shock Blown to smithereens Tsunami visceral experience Who am I? Where am I? What has happened? I can’t control The negative thoughts They come from Out of nowhere Neuro-toxins for sure Also something more Intertwined, not separate Screaming ancestors invading My private space As they seek To be heard For the nightmare Lives of misery So long endured These enslaved victims Their haunting screams And tortured, deathly Voices within me Their vacant stares Begging for release Praying for salvation From cruel captors My English ancestors Refusing this plea Sadistic and brutal Inflicting maximum pain So that their Addicted pain bodies Can be nourished By intense suffering This misguided craving And moral disassociation Fuelled by trauma Satiated by agony Filling their veins With demonic hatred These distant voices From untold atrocities And normalised genocide Haunt me still Drowning in guilt Overwhelmed by suffering Carrying the legacy That isn’t mine That seeks to Be honoured and Laid to rest “Let me die” “Please have mercy’ Silent, pleading screams Trapped and overwhelmed With no escape Until thankfully, finally Body intelligence wins Fog and confusion Chemicals take over Disassociation as saviour Numbing the system Bailing right out So - in this Blur of reality What is real Me or them? This generational legacy Buried, conveniently forgotten Ghosts of trauma Contagiously passed down Like seeping mists Begging for recognition For deserved honouring Don’t you realise How I suffer Because they suffered? Their stories untold Their wretched lives Because of our Arrogant, misplaced ownership And twisted entitlement? Please I’m tired Carrying so much I need release From this stronghold Showing up as Mystery debilitating illness This self hatred Refuting any pleasure For shame of What took place Biting my lip Unnamed, unspeakable horrors In my life And those before Not yet acknowledged Not yet healed Infectiously passed on In psychic dna This epigenetic truth Please….finally…..now Will you accept An offering, perhaps? Something to appease? My deep bow And devoted reverence For your suffering And lost lives The heartless degradation Of countless betrayals Buried beneath lies What is possible To honour you? And release me? As your descendent.... So that I May live freely In peace as You were not Permitted to do? Please help me I will willingly Create a ritual Offer my gratitude And humble presence Praying for guidance Speaking the truth Being the whistleblower Anything ……to redeem Anything......to prevent This rolling madness Your unresolved pain Unknowingly handed down Sucking in innocents And silently, powerfully Destroying more lives Helpless infant duped with perilous smiles
Paralysing immobility from all that defiles Candyfloss predators, dressed up in peril Instinctual loss, of all that was feral Body parts teased with mischievous intention Masked agendas with conditional attention Crumbs of affection, self serving agendas Pre-verbal abuse, a body that remembers So you’ve taken what you needed Plundered and devoured While I remain hollow, lost and cowered You silently stole - your Vampire’s paradise The baby confused, holding ancestral vice Locked in patterns of self disgust and loathing Worshipping wolves dressed up in sheep’s clothing Imploded grief, terror and rage Paralysed, helpless , trapped in a cage Choked, disgusted dripping with shame Voiceless, gagged, holding all the blame Stranded and putrid, infected by semen Will I ever be free of this Inner Demon? So I won’t trust your sweetness, the Narcissistic seduction I’ll give first attention to cellular eruption To body signals, ingenious sensations Trusting my Temple, its glorious compensations I’m here in my body, antennae finely tuned Learned responses from being well groomed I reconnect to my ‘truth teller’, to my breath and to Home My testament, well endured, MY Sovereign Throne Such a welcome visitor from a distant shore Where have you been midst frantic chores Still, expansive, calm and assured The all knowing presence – God’s spacious reward You are the observer, embodied and whole Wise and intelligent, cosmic, aware soul Alive, vibrating, formless and freeing Re-birthing back, to limitless being You are the truth, the one that’s connected The ease, the pleasure, all loving and protected The one that surrenders, allows and unfolds Stay with me, play with me, ‘till we grow old How insane the world that celebrates form Keeping us trapped in mind as the norm You say very little, think no thought But when I’m with you, I’ve everything I sought She flies free now releasing all pain and suffering
Courage to endure beyond safe holding Only I know what she gave, how bravely she fought Only I am blessed by her very existence, her pure heart For I would not be without her, without her constancy Without her knowing, her tenderness, her belief in the way I am her brave heart, the soldered battered heart That she always believed in, always stayed true She may seem to have failed but don’t believe a word of it The sacred heart battle is forged in the darkness Out of the limelight, quietly working With only a flickering candle to light the way Never underestimate the heart’s way, the power of love The sensitive unfolding that drips slowly onto hardened stone And eventually cracks open the compassion That has been waiting patiently in the dark corner Waiting to blind you with its illumination That by its very presence shatters the illusion And forges a new path, grace that unfolds The alchemy of love that has no teachers but itself Groping Hands, Sinking Sands
Lecherous Stares, Blinding flares Smothering Lips, Cramping Zips Swollen Cocks, Sexual Blocks Mangled Toes, Powerless No’s Invasive Eyes, Probing Spies Clammy Palms, Intensive Farms Enveloping Fat, Is It This or That? Deformed Limbs, Dirge Like Hymns Gagging Smells, Black Magic Spells Intermittent Snores, Blocked Pores Asthmatic Wheezing, Pornographic Sleazing Sucking Parasites, Biting Bed Mites Crawling Ants, Constricting Pants Vampires Hold, Biting Cold Constricted Spaces, Crowded Places Windowless Rooms, Pregnant Wombs Raging Storms, Boundary-less Forms Choking weeds, Force Feeds Pitch Black, Panic Attack Stagnant Water, Cancerous Aorta Relentless rain, Agonising Pain Jammed Locks, Stinking Socks Vaginal forceps, Tight Corsets Telesales Home Calls, Concrete Shopping Malls Haunting Nightmares, Piercing Stares Restricted Exits, Overflowing Cesspits Shared Beds, Migraine Heads Suffocating Mothers, Obsessive Lovers Uninvited Guests, Enormous Sized Breasts Chronic Fixers, Seductive Elixirs Inauthentic Friends, Predictive trends Interrogating Questions, Provocative Suggestions Rigid Controls, Bottomless Holes Punitive Rules, Torturing Tools Fascist Causes, Embarrassing Pauses Childish Power games, Cholesterol Filled Veins Totalitarian Regimes, Frozen Screams Conspiracy Theories, Judgmental Queries Being Defined, Wheelchair Confined Dependent Behaviours, Manipulative Favours Suppressed Rage, Gilded Cage Blocked Expression, Childhood Repression Victim Terror, Perfectionist Error Black Depression, Women’s Oppression Paralysing Fear, Campaign of Smear Mortifying Shame, Obsessive Fame Inflexible Thinking, Addictive Drinking Overwhelming Neediness, Gluttonish Greediness Unplugged Power, Compliments Shower Invalidating Thoughts, A Life Out of Sorts Incessant Chatter, Do I Really Matter? If you think
You dare again Project on me Wounds and scars That you disowned Many years ago So you remain In your power While I carry Your heavy baggage Please think again I won't be A perfect conduit Your dumping ground Easy shame bucket That is yours To clean up And yours alone Invasive chemicals, hazardous waste
In our home, gardens and foods that we taste Toxic combinations causing havoc to our bodies Poly- pharmacy, petrochemicals, these are our hobbies Pharmaceutical monsters now lead the way Most of us guinea pigs without any say Insidious pollution slowly destroying our health So the deadly giants can build up more wealth They irradiate our foods calling it electronic pasteurisation Give us no choice in mass fluoridation Then we frazzle our brains with mobile phones And eat processed foods micro-waved in our homes Aluminium, mercury, lead and arsenic Hidden chemicals silently poisoning us to be sick Add MSG, pure white and brain deadly A dangerous cocktail, a carcinogenic medley Artificial preservatives, colours and flavours Vaccinations that do our children no favours Pesticides, Herbicides, Insecticides too Add genetic fiddling and we’re junked through and through There’s no difference wearing perfume to sniffing glue Sodium Laurel Sulphate I’d rather use down the loo If I put moisturiser on my skin, it has to be good enough to eat And if I’m craving something sweet, Green and Black's the only treat So yes, I filter my water and eat organic foods I’m passionate about nutrition and balancing my moods I take essential fatty acids to supplement my diet Magnesium and B vitamins so I’m stress free and quiet You can say I’m obsessed about freedom of choice But I want natural medicines to have a real voice It’s invasive chemicals that are our environmental plague Wake up to the truth – it doesn’t pay to be vague |
Categories |